Consider this a survival guide to Zombieland. A land filled with flesh eating zombies stalking the earth, craving their next heart beating meal. There are only four survivors, well five, including the temporary Bill Murray for five minutes in the film.
Rule number one, exercise cardio. The “fatties” were the first to go, leaving plenty of flesh to go around, creating a decoy for the skinny people. Where would we be without rule number one? Probably dead because the zombies in this film can sprint, relentlessly.
Rule number two is the double tap. After knocking a zombie unconscious, do not, I repeat, do not stick around to see if our mouth watering friend is still alive. Simply hit the blood thirst bastard again, thus the double tap to ensure the kill. This rule could save your life.
Rule number three, stay away from bathrooms. Zombies are notorious for sneaking up on their prey, even when they are most vulnerable, such as letting loose those bad tacos consumed with the guacamole stacked on top.
Rule number four, check the backseat. Our un-welcomed friends may find places of rest in our escape vehicles, anticipating a ready to serve human caught off guard.
Lastly, rule number five, arguably the most important rule, do not try to be a hero. Heroes are the Clint Eastwood’s or Bruce Wayne characters in these Blockbuster hits. Stay alive, because heroes are often sacrificed in their time of need to save another human. A bullet in the head is one thing, but being ripped alive to aid another, well, consider the choices.
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